Sunday, 27 January 2008

Are You Embarazadas By Your Spanish

Hmmm well the Spanish language seems to be full of opportunities to make a fool of yourself.

I recently asked for the price of membership for an arse to join the gym instead of a year.

Another embarrassing mistake is telling someone I was pregnant instead of embarressed.

Then we come on to ordering pear juice and actually asking for bitch juice (perra instead or pera)

When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". However, the company's mistakenly thought the Spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that "It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I Saw the Pope" in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I Saw the Potato".

Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken", got terribly mangled in another Spanish translation. A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that explained "It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused".

In an Acapulco hotel a sign read "The manager has personally passed all the water served here".
The Mitsubishi four wheel drive marketed in Australia as the "Pajero" was the cause of great emabarassmentt in Spain where "Pajero" means "masturbater".

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo". In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom". So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor". That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!!

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Some Dominican Travel Notes

Here is a collection of things you might see when travelling in the Dominican Republic...reallity would be even funnier

Sunday, 13 January 2008

What big nuts ! Dont sleep under the coconut tree

Heres a nice picture of Nagua on the North coast of the Dominican Republic where its almost impossible to avoid a coconut tree not the idea place for a hammock.

Did you know that coconut water can be used instead of blood plasma in an emergy due to it being sterile and the ideal ph ?

The coconut is the largest seed on the planet !Stuck on a desert island without a toothbrush?

Stuck on a desert island without a toothbrush?Take a piece of coconut root about 3 inches long and flay it on a stone. This makes an acceptable toothbrush.

Coconuts annually kill more people than sharks! Every year there are more than 150 coconut related deaths.

The coconut most likely originated around New Guinea in the Pacific Ocean, but long ago became distributed throughout the Pacific and Indian Oceans.

The wood from the coconut palm is known as Porcupine Wood. It is very hard dense wood and is used to make furniture.

Waving a flag made of his own clothes, a tsunami victim dressed only in his underwear was rescued after surviving alone for 25 days on a flattened island in India’s Andaman and Nicobar archipelago. Officials on Campbell Bay Island reported that a Nicobarese man named Michael Mangal had been spotted on deserted Pillow Panja island on January 19th. Mangal was sucked into the sea when the first tsunami wave stuck, but an even bigger wave dumped him back on the shore. However, he found that no one else from his village had survived. Injured and desperate he survived the next 25 days only on coconuts before being rescued.
There are more than 20 billion coconuts produced each year.Coconut juice or coconut water is the liquid inside a coconut. Coconut milk is produced by steeping grated coconut in hot water then straining; coconut cream is coconut milk cooked down until it thickens, or grated coconut steeped in hot milk instead of water.
Errrrr you can eat them as well

Thursday, 10 January 2008

Bloggin' All Over The World -

If you have an interesting blog on your country let me know !

Hong Kong "Life of a Hong Konger"

Wednesday, 9 January 2008

House for sale in sosua dominican republic

watson homes sosua web site

Here are the details of my house (three apartments with option for 4th) that is for sale for usd 349,000.00
Im buying some land and having a smaller house built in the same area

Price: $349,000
Lot Size: 2000M2
Status: Active

Full Description: Apartment complex set in 2,000m2 of tropical gardens with banana, orange, lemon, lime, coconut, passion fruit trees. Comprising three totally self contained apartments.

Apartment 1 on the first floor (ground floor in UK terms) with one bedroom, one bathroom, kitchen, extra room (occasionally used as bedroom)

Apartment 2 on the 2nd floor with two large bedrooms and both having en-suite bathrooms. Bedroom 1 having large walk in closet and full range of built in wardrobes. Large kitchen, large lounge. Three sets of patio doors leading onto large private balcony.

Apartment 3 on 3rd floor with two large bedrooms, two bathrooms. Both bedrooms have walk in closets.

Maids quarters, laundry, garage. Now connected to City water. EASY POTENTIAL FOR 4TH APARTMENT. Grounds large enough to provide another villa in the gardens.

Home Features

Ceramic Floors
Fitted kitchen
Internet access
Landscaped garden
Part furnished
Utility room

Tennis in the Tropics

Hmmm it seems I have picked the wrong Tropical island to pursue my love of tennis, ah well back to the other sports.

There are tennis courts everywhere but very few people wanting to bash a ball around in this heat.........after visiting other countries I had visions of an ex-pat community playing tennis everyday like I'd seen elsewhere, but alas its going to take a while to build up a core of hardened tennis nuts.

I've managed to play a few games in the last few months, and have had a few leads to pursue from messages on the dr1 forum ...but they dont seem as keen as in the uk where we would wait for hours for a break in the rain or shovel the snow up to play.

I wonder what I should do if i break a string as finding tennis balls was more of a challenge than I'd expected. It seems Santiago is the place for almost everything and only and hour and half away lol

Funny Tennis Quotes

Strangely enough, Kathy Jordan is getting to the net first, which she always does
Fred Perry

Diane - keeping her head beautifully on her shoulders Ann Jones

If she gets the jitters now, then she isn't the great champion that she is Max Robertson

McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands Fred Perry

Chip Hooper is such a big man that it is sometimes difficult to see where he is on the court Mark Cox

He's got his hands on his knees and holds his head in despair Peter Jones

The Gullikson twins here. An interesting pair, both from Wisconsin Dan Maskell

These ball boys are marvellous. You don't even notice them. There's a left handed one over there. I noticed him earlier Max Robertson

...and when Chrissie is playing well I always feel that she is playing well Anne Jones

It's quite clear that Virginia Wade is thriving on the pressure now that the pressure on her to do well is off Harry Carpenter

When Martina is tense it helps her relax Dan Maskell

We haven't had any more rain since it stopped raining Harry Carpenter

Billie Jean King, with the look on her face that says she can't beieve it... because she never believes it, and yet, somehow, I think she does Maz Robertson

Strawberries, cream and champers flowed like hot cakes Radio 2

She comes from a tennis playing family. Her father's a dentist BBC 2

Very Funny - video powered by Metacafe

Monday, 7 January 2008

Funny Pictures


Some favourite sites for games and fun stuff

1.Fun Pic

Let me know your favourite sites to add

Saturday, 5 January 2008

Diving into the unknown in Sosua (Dominican Republic)

Well ! I finally plucked up the courage after a long time of talking myself into it, which only goes to prove that if I can do it anyone can.

The signs were not good since I dont like to get my head under the water, have very limited (breaststroke) swimming abilities and I fell off a diving board in Guernsey (thank you Victoria Wood)

I needn't have worried though,I was in safe hands with the Northern Coast Diving Centre in Sosua, Dominican Republic and the very patient Christian

We started off with pool side instruction and safety in the water, hand signals, then into the pool to practise breathing and movement movement was a bit lacking so I needed more help.

After a lunch break it was time to get all the gear on and do it for real......everyone else around seemed to know what they were doing.....ah well I felt better when I had the gear on, then I discovered you had to walk through town (hmmm) no-one batted an eyelid and at least no-one asked me to come into their shop to buy anything (lol)

I soon found myself sat on the side of the boat ready to tip myself forward into the sea.... Christian was waiting to save me from drowning and take me down to see the wonders of the world below the sea.

My swimming underwater technique left a little to be desired and I kept floating up and kept being dragged back down by my leg .Extra weights were added to help me drown ...errr keep me at the bottom.

It was amazingly calm and beautiful down there as you only have the sense of sight and touch, I was handed a few things to touch , because you cant go around picking things up yourself and killing the coral.

We weaved are way through passage and up and down coral reefs looking at the beautiful fish and soon it was time to return to the surface.

It had been a beautiful sunny day when I went down so it was a bit of a shock to find it was pi...raining heavily and grey when I emerged rather ungracefully onto the waiting boat.

It was a very enjoyable day and I hope to do more dives in the future and get certified (lol I think thats the right term)